It’s always sad when you lose a friend. Well, that happened to me just last night when my friend Sarah Jane crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
It was unexpected and we weren’t at all prepared. You see, Sarah Jane came to live with us from a shelter long before I was born. She and her sister were there together and they came to our house together. One was named Sarah and the other was Jane. Those two girls looked just alike and they did everything together. Eventually, both became known as Sarah Jane.
Last night, when Sarah Jane 2 left us, her sister became very sad. So did I, but not like her sister. She had just lost her constant companion.
So that got me thinking. Do dogs grieve when they lose a friend and how do we dogs deal with grief. I started doing a little research and wanted to share it with you so you can help your dog if he ever has to suffer through something like this.
As part of my research, I found an article by Barbara J. King, professor emerita of anthropology at College of William and Mary. It was published in the May 2017 issue of Scientific American. In this article, Dr. King discussed behavioral changes in dogs after the death of their canine friend.
“After a dog dies, another dog in the household may show social withdrawal. He may fail to eat or drink, he may search for his lost companion, or exhibit vocalizations that show he is stressed.”
That’s sort of what happened to the Sarah Jane left behind. All she did the next day was sleep in the chair where her sister always sat. She didn’t eat any of her dinner the night before.
We don’t really know how well dogs understand the concept of death. But they do know their friend is no longer around.
To help me understand what Sarah Jane was experiencing, I looked up some symptoms of grief in dogs. Let me share them with you.
- Withdrawal from people and other pets.
- A lack of appetite.
- Lethargic behavior and sleeping more than usual.
- Unusually aggressive or destructive behaviors.
- Inappropriate elimination within the home.
- Calling out or vocalizing in an unusual way for the dog who has passed away.
- Searching for the companion dog within the home and other places frequented by the other dog.
- Becoming very clingy to the owner and following the owner around.
If you have lost a pet and another dog in your household is exhibiting some of these behaviors, pay close attention. Certainly don’t punish them for these unusual behaviors. Be there for them and give them time to work things out on their own.
An article published in the November 2016 issue of Animals addressed how long grief lasts in dogs. The author, Dr. Jennifer Coates, a veterinarian, says the dog’s behavior usually returns to normal in two to six months. But like humans, all dogs do things in their own time.
Now we have to ask how humans can help us dogs get through our grief.
Dr. Marc Beckoff, professor emeritus of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Colorado Bolder, says to allow your dog to grieve and have some time alone if he wants it. “Be sure he gets plenty of exercise and observe him when he eats to be sure he is gets the necessary nutrition to stay healthy.
Dr. Mary Burch, a certified applied animal behaviorist, says that one solution to helping a dog deal with grief is to get him another animal companion. “No one we love can be replaced, but if the dogs ran and played together or spent time together while the owner was at work, another dog may help.”
All the experts agree that if your dog’s grief goes on too long, it may be time to have your dog see a veterinarian. “As a veterinarian, whenever I’ve helped owners through the loss of a pet in a multi-pet household, I’ve made a point of letting them know that animal grief is real and normal,” says Dr. Coates. “However, a pet who develops especially severe or persistent symptoms like lack of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, or lethargy should be seen by a veterinarian as these may not be due to grief.” Not only can a veterinarian help diagnose and treat an illness that your dog might be experiencing, they can also prescribe a medication to help with your pup’s grief. These medications help with behaviors related to depression or anxiety to help your dog feel like himself again.
Sarah Jane wasn’t my running buddy like she was with her sister, but I miss her anyway. I don’t think my grief will be as deep as the remaining Sarah Jane, but I will feel it all the same. I miss her and our lives will never be the same again. She will always be a special girl in our hearts.
After doing my research, I know my mom will always be here for all of us, but she is dealing with her own pain. It’s going to be up to me to help everyone, including myself.
So what I’m going to do is give kisses whenever they’re needed. I’m going to play with Sarah Jane if she wants to play. If she doesn’t, I will sit quietly with her. If she decides she wants to get another running buddy, I will welcome him or her into our flock.
I miss you Sarah Jane. Rest in peace my friend.